Brain injuries caused by accidents and falls can leave lasting problems that continue long after the visible wounds have healed. Jonathan Liu, brain injury survivor and founder of support group Beyond Broken Brains, shares ways friends and colleagues can help.
At 26, my life was almost perfect. I was graduating in Math and Computer Science, I had a job lined up with Apple Computer and my IT freelance work was growing. Then came a rainy December day in 2005, when the car I was driving crashed into a tree . The accident left me with multiple brain contusions (bruises) and a traumatic brain injury. After three months in hospital dealing with memory, balance, and speech issues, these difficulties became my unexpected calling.
My biggest challenge after brain injury was mental health – my mood swung between feeling invincible and hitting deep lows. After connecting with other survivors and caregivers, I spotted a gap: there was no dedicated support group for brain injury families. This led me to start Beyond Broken Brains in May 2014, which uses technology and community to help others heal.
The road to recovery
Recovering from a head injury is a long and rocky journey that can take years of rehabilitation, but I am proof that it is possible for survivors to regain their independence and lead fulfilling lives.
Drawing on my personal experience, I have come up with a formula to maximise recovery:
- 50% Positive Attitude
- 25% Time & Patience
- 25% Family & Community Support
Family, friends and colleagues play a key role in helping head injury survivors overcome difficulties and thrive – here’s how!
Essential tips for supporting head injury survivors
1. Challenge: Brain injury survivors often need extra time to find the right words to express their ideas
Tip: Be patient and listen
Often times, we may repeat ourselves or pause a lot while talking because we are thinking of the right words to use. Your patience means more than you know. It is not just about being nice, it is also about helping us get better at talking again. When you give us time to speak, you help build our confidence. Sometimes the best support is simply being there and letting us find our voice.
2. Challenge: Looking fine on the outside, but struggling inside
Tip: Look beyond the obvious
Brain injury isn't like a broken arm, you cannot see it. Most of us look perfectly normal, but inside we're dealing with a lot. We may be fighting fatigue, feeling confused, or just trying to keep up.
You can help by checking for small signs that may indicate that we are struggling, for example, going quiet, losing focus easily, or seeming different than usual. Just because we look okay doesn't mean we are. Someone who is chatty in the morning may be worn out by lunch time. Understanding these moments helps us feel seen and supported.
3. Challenge: Making decisions is exhausting
Tip: Create simple routines
When your brain is healing, even simple choices like deciding what to wear or what to eat can be hard, overwhelming and drain our energy.
Work with us to set up easy routines, such as using a daily checklist, setting phone alarms, or breaking big tasks into small steps. Put them in writing and paste them on the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, or somewhere we will see it regularly. Having a clear plan for regular things, for example morning routines or work tasks, makes life much easier, because it helps us stay focused and independent.
4. Challenge: Staying motivated and positive
Tip: Cheer small steps forward
Recovery is not a straight path up and can be different from person to person. Some days we feel on top of the world; other days we can barely get out of bed (this was me).
Take this workplace scenario: When reviewing a report with minor oversights, your response—both verbal and non-verbal—makes a huge difference. Instead of showing frustration through crossed arms, sighs, or tense facial expressions, take a deep breath. Replace "Your attention to detail needs work" with a calm, open posture and a supportive tone, for example: "I see the great effort you've put into this analysis. Let's look at these sections together, and I can show you some strategies I use for reviewing documents. What works for me is..."
For supervisors and colleagues: Remember that support and patience often yield better results than criticism. Taking extra time to provide clear guidance and understanding can make a tremendous difference in someone's confidence and ability to improve.
5. Challenge: Misunderstandings around brain injury
Tip: Learn and share about brain injury
Many people do not understand what brain injury is really like and think it is just about memory loss or headaches. Brain injury changes how we act, think, and feel in ways that are not obvious. When we get angry easily or seem different, it is not us being difficult, it is the injury. These behavioural changes are part of the injury—they are not personal choices.
Take time to learn about brain injury and its various manifestations. Share this knowledge with others. When you understand why a person who had a brain injury may act differently, it is easier to help, and when you share this knowledge, you help create a better world. That is priceless!