I once journeyed with an 18-year-old teenager with lymphoma  that did not respond to treatment and the end was rather near for him. The youngest of three children, he was a scholarship holder at a local polytechnic but had to drop out of school due to his condition.

 

One day in our session, we decided to walk through what would be meaningful for him to leave behind for his family. As we talked, he penned down three ways that he wanted his family to remember him by:

 

• I do not want my parents to remember me as someone who spent all their money, because my medical bills are so expensive.
• I want my parents to remember me as an intelligent boy even though I do not have my polytechnic diploma to show for it.  If I could have the chance, I would give my all to complete the diploma.
• I hope they can always remember that they have a son in me.

 

He passed away shortly after penning those thoughts and it helped the family to move on.  In his own right, he left behind a legacy of 18 years.

 

He taught me the importance of asking these crucial questions: “How do you want to be remembered?” and “What kind of memories do you want to leave behind?”

 

Reflecting on these two questions have been instrumental in framing my leadership style. As more people look to me as a leader, exhibiting compassion in the people I meet is something I truly like to be remembered for and a legacy that I hope to leave behind. 

 

As healthcare workers, compassion is the cornerstone that should govern the way we act and how we give to our patients. Compassion is more than just showing sympathy and empathy – it is  about acting on them with the aim to make a positive change to better the life of our patients.  Weaving compassion into leadership has become a core value that I embrace, helping me to encourage my team to help our patients.

 

When we lead without compassion, the tendency is to create a culture where the staff goes through their daily routine out of sheer compliance and with little purpose. On the other hand, when we become a compassionate leader, our focus shifts to helping our team appreciate the impact of their work, find  meaning in the patients they serve and enhance their professional sense of purpose. This will transform compliance into a meaningful commitment to the patients, profession and organisation.

 

However, we must not be carried away with the compassionate elements and neglect the non-negotiables in a work environment, such as hygiene or certain administrative protocols which would compromise safety. For instance, if we choose to not report certain adverse events, it would do more harm than good for the patient. If there are any challenges or uncertainties, it is always important to go back to the core of what we do – that everything leads towards patient care and safety.

 

I have been privileged to have the opportunity to journey with patients in their last days and regardless of their background, age, race, they have all one desire at the end - to leave behind a legacy. I too, would like to leave behind a legacy, one which shaped a culture of compassion in the people I met and led.