Educators for Children and Teens (7 to 18 years old)

Supporting Children and Teens

Developmental changes in reasoning and communication can influence the way children and teenagers respond after a traumatic event, and the types of support they need from the people around them.

Younger school-aged children (i.e. aged 7 to 12 years) are better able to describe their experiences and express their needs compared to pre-schoolers, but some may still find it difficult to fully understand the event. Their abilities to express and regulate emotions are also still developing, and they still rely on the adults around them to model and teach helpful coping strategies.

As children grow older and reach their teenage years (aged 13 to 18 years), their brains go through a period of extensive pruning and change. These neurobiological changes may cause teenagers to experience emotions more intensely and behave more impulsively. Peer acceptance and a sense of belonging are especially important to them at this stage of their development which is why they might prefer to reach out to peers as compared to adults, and be particularly concerned about how their friends perceive them after a traumatic event.

Click on the links in the side bar to find out more about what educators can do to support school-aged children and teenagers after a traumatic event!

Creating a Safe Environment

When children perceive that they are physically and emotionally safe in an environment, their brains are less likely to remain vigilant to potential sources of danger or threat. This means that they will have more capacity to learn and regulate their behaviour and emotions. Here are some things you can do to create a physically and emotionally safe environment in school for children who have experienced a traumatic event.

Develop or resume consistent routine and structures

• Maintain and resume regular routines in school, which helps to reduce stress by increasing a sense of predictability and safety

• Check in with the child or teenager to see what temporary accommodations can be given at school to help them get back into their routine. For instance, allowing some flexibility of deadlines of homework and assignments, when possible

• Offer additional support for homework/assignments, when necessary (e.g. arranging who can provide extra academic support and when). Many teenagers often worry about catching up with their learning and find it hard to approach their teachers to ask for additional support even when they need it. You can support them by initiating this conversation with them first
   

Offer choices within regular routines

• When appropriate, find ways to give the child choices within regular routines to help them regain a sense of control and safety (e.g. choosing which activity they want to do first, choosing between two assignment topics)

• This applies to teenagers as well. Teenagers benefit significantly from knowing that their educators would listen to their concerns and exercise flexibility in offering choices to them.
   

Create a safe and calming space

• When appropriate, create a designated space for children and teenagers to take breaks when emotions become overwhelming. This can help support their regulation within the classroom. These spaces may be in a separate room (e.g. counsellor’s room or sick bay) or a designated space within the classroom

• The safe space can be a demarcated area (e.g. using mats, tapes, beanbags, or rugs). Place a calming kit or bag with age-appropriate calming items in the area. Items inside the bag may include:
  • Pens, papers, colour pencils, and markers
  • Cushions and blankets
  • Stress balls, fidget toys, Rubik’s cubes, or squeeze toys
  • Age-appropriate colouring sheets, word searches, or crossword puzzles
  • Pictures or images with favourite characters or helpful quotes​
  • You may also ask the child or teenager what they would like to have with them that can help them feel calmer

Building Connections

Educators can play an important role in building connections with children and teenagers by getting to know them and providing support through everyday interactions. Children feel safe when their relationships with their educators (amongst other significant people in their lives) are warm and responsive. Safe relationships can help bring children’s brains, emotions, and behaviours back into regulation, enabling them to have greater capacity to engage in learning too. Here are some things that you can do to build warm and responsive connections with children in school.

Check-ins with children

• Children and teenagers may display changes in their moods and behaviours after a traumatic event. Check in with the child or teen to understand what may be happening for them. Checking in with them can help them feel less socially isolated and alone. It also allows them to express how they feel, and/or to know that someone is available for them to reach out to

• Ask about needs and concerns. As each child and teenager is unique, asking about their specific needs and concerns can help you to determine the best way to support them. For example, some children may be worried about what to say to classmates who were curious about their absence from school while others may have concerns about catching up with schoolwork after missing school for a period of time. For teenagers, they may be worried about how their peers perceive them or they may feel upset about being judged or labelled by their peers after a traumatic event
   

Tap into pre-existing connections

• Some children and teenagers may already have a good connection with other supportive and trusted adults (e.g. school counsellors, CCA instructors, or coaches) at school, and may feel more comfortable sharing their needs and concerns with them. You may consider asking for help from your fellow colleagues to check in with the child or teenager to understand what might be happening for them, and the best ways you can support them
   

Connection before correction

• It is understandable that challenging behaviours are written off as difficult behaviours in classroom settings. However, it is not uncommon for children and teenagers to display challenging behaviours after exposure to a traumatic event. These challenging behaviours may be a form of emotional expression, or a way of coping with overwhelming or difficult emotions or traumatic stress reactions. Being aware of the reasons behind these behaviours can help you respond with understanding and provide appropriate support, especially when behavioural expectations are not met. This can reduce the use of punitive disciplinary actions for trauma-related difficulties and changes
   

Let them know it is okay to talk about feelings with you or with other trusted adults

• If the child chooses to share their feelings and worries, listen and acknowledge those feelings, and show understanding that these reactions make sense after traumatic event (e.g. “That was really scary for you, it makes sense that you’re thinking a lot about it now”)

• If the child or teenager declines to talk about the incident, reassure them that you will be around anytime they feel ready to talk. Check with them about the activities they usually do to feel better, or the people they usually go to for help. Encourage them to engage in those activities and seek the support that they need

• For teenagers, they might prefer seeking support from their peers instead of an adult. Therefore, it may be important to explain to them that some issues (e.g. self-harming or suicidal ideations, physical or sexual abuse, mental health issues) need to be shared with an adult such as caregivers, educators, or school counsellors because their friends may need urgent help. It is also important to remind your students to seek support from you or the school counsellor whenever they have concerns about their friends’ moods or behaviours in school after a traumatic event

Supporting Co-Regulation and Self-Regulation

Co-regulation is a process where others in the environment model appropriate strategies thus soothing a child’s emotions. This then gradually helps children and teenagers develop an ability to manage their feelings more independently (i.e. self-regulation).
 

Manage and regulate big emotions by modelling calmness
 

You can help to soothe a child’s big emotions by connecting with them in a calm demeanour by:

• Being aware about how you are feeling in that moment when your student is having a meltdown, or is being moody and withdrawn. If you’re feeling frustrated or worried about managing the behaviour, take a couple of minutes to calm yourself (e.g. taking a few deep breaths, saying an affirming statement to yourself) before approaching the child or teenager

• Responding in a way that meets the child’s or teenager’s needs. This includes keeping your tone of voice calm and neutral and having an open posture (e.g. having your arms open instead of crossed)

• Using the sense of touch (e.g. holding a child’s hands, patting their arms or shoulder) could be useful for some children and teenagers, although it is important to be mindful that some of them may not find touch to be soothing or calming. As touch is involved, it is important to first ask for their permission before doing so
   

Identify and validate the child’s or teenager’s emotions
 

You can respond supportively to their emotions by:

• Naming emotions for them (e.g. when the child/teenager is crying and appears sad, you may reflect their emotions, “it looks like you are feeling sad”)

• If a child/teenager has difficulties identifying emotions, provide tools (e.g. emotions wheel or emotions chart) that will help them express their feelings

• Using validating statements to help them feel that their emotions are understandable (“that’s a really difficult situation to be in”)

Help them develop self-regulation skills
 

• Prompt the child to do activities that help them to calm down (e.g. using items in the calming kit, taking a sip of water)

• Positively reinforce and acknowledge their efforts whenever they have tried using a strategy to calm themselves down. This helps increase their sense of empowerment and motivation to continue practising

• When an emotion regulation strategy fails to help a child or teenager calm down, reassure them of their effort made, and remind them that they are still on the right track

• Be patient and give the child or teenager sufficient time to calm down without rushing them. Some children or teenagers just need more time to cope with their intense emotions. If you have to leave them alone, ensure that the environment is safe for them to be in

• On some occasions, being physically present without having to actively engage the child or teenager can help with their self-regulation. They can see that they are not alone, that they have their own space, yet at the same time, that they can approach you whenever they feel ready to
   

Help them develop problem-solving skills
 

Empower the child or teenager by encouraging them to solve the problems they face by using the following steps:

• Take in a few slow deep breaths
• Define the problem
• Generate as many solutions as possible
• Think through the pros and cons of the solution
• Select the best solution
• Evaluate the solutionImplement the solution
   

Help them identify sources of social support

Social support is a protective factor in times of difficulties and reaching out for help is an important concept that can be taught early on. To encourage children and teenagers to seek support from others, consider using the following steps:

• Help the child or teenager identify the safe and trusting adults or people in various spheres of their life (e.g. at home, school, CCA, religious institution)

• Identify how/when to reach these sources of support (e.g. “I can call Aunty Amy if I have problems with friends”)

• Some children/teenagers may prefer to seek support anonymously, therefore you may share the help-seeking hotlines listed below: